A recent repeat of the infamous “Bridget Jones” films made me think about the many similar mishaps I’ve had whilst travelling. My misdemeanours are perhaps not in the same league as the fictitious Bridget, who not only endured the embarrassing ski lift incident but also found herself in a Thai prison for inadvertent drug smuggling.
I guess we all have a tale to tell of a holiday horror (or two!). Whether it’s driving on the wrong side of the road or not securing the tent well enough before it blows away in the middle of the night – we’ve all been there.
I think my worst experience was in Dublin Airport on Fathers’ Day a few years ago. The plane home from a trip to see my then boyfriend (now husband) was delayed. In my infinite wisdom I decided to spend the extra time drinking red wine in the bar, interspersed with shopping for a Fathers’ Day present. I clearly wasn’t paying attention, because when I wandered casually to the gate my plane had apparently just departed! Amid tears and alcohol fumes I rushed to the desk and explained my predicament, whereby it became clear that the airline weren’t even aware that the plane was missing a person! They hadn’t even called for me or removed my luggage from the plane, which was then deemed a major security issue! The plane, which was taxi-ing for take off, had to basically come back and get me – how embarrassed was I when I embarked on the plane, tear-stained and stinking of booze, to a round of applause!
Other episodes include me losing my passport once in the departure lounge, only for it to literally be handed back in with seconds to spare before they took my luggage off the plane. It had fallen out of my jeans pocket in the loos! Needless to say my friends were NOT impressed!
Another embarrassing moment happened when I was living in Portland, Oregon for 3 months. I thought I’d be really cultured and ask for a martini and lemonade in a lovely rooftop bar, however a martini in America is a posh cocktail not a cheap vermouth! Much confusion ensued…
My sister had a very “Bridget” moment recently, in Thailand of all places too. She was sitting having a civilised coffee when a huge praying mantis landed on her cup. She shrieked in terror and quite literally threw the cup across the restaurant – much to the amusement of everyone watching!
Another family tale is when we took a coach to the South of France which was quite possible the most hellish journey ever known to man. It included a dodgy trip through Paris for an extra tenner (per family!) for the driver, only for him to crash in the middle of a hectic Parisian street and simply drive off! Once at our destination we had to contend with me refusing to speak French even though that was the whole point of the trip, then my dad got water in his ears and I had to send him to the doctor’s with a note explaining in very dodgy French how he was suddenly slightly deaf. My sister and I then thought it was hilarious to talk to my dad without actually speaking the words out loud so he thought he’d gone completely deaf! Oh how we laughed…
Reading this you’d think that holiday mishaps seem to run in my family. However we’re not alone. I’ve heard tales of kids almost driving their grandfather’s car off a cliff, of lost luggage, of Delhi belly attacks and even of couples splitting up and travelling home separately! Maybe I’ll give my 2011 holiday a miss next year….
Jo typically writes about city breaks europe and destinations in France, she also covers what can go wrong abroad even under european breakdown cover, car insurance and travel insurance.
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